Sharing Time
For well over forty years I have been in possession of a poem handwritten by a patient when I was a nursing student. I have never shared it because I do not know whether it is original or if he simply copied someone else’s poem. My guess has always been that it was not the latter. Today I have again made serious efforts to find the poem on the Internet. I’ve Googled keywords and even whole stanzas without finding it. I’ve researched poetry sites as well without results.
Another concern I’ve had is patient confidentiality, but since I will not be revealing anything about the patient and I don’t even remember his name, I believe that it is safe to post the poem.
Over the years I have read these pages several times, trying to understand the poem better, trying hard to remember what the person looked like who gave it to me or what he said at that moment. I cannot recapture that scene. I remember that I was assigned to his care for at least several days. I recall a few things of interest that surrounded his hospital stay and certainly his diagnosis. Always, I have felt that I was entrusted with something beautiful and that it needed to be shared.
That is why I am posting it here for you. I believe that it needs to be heard. I look forward to what you think of the poem, “She.”
Note: Unfortunately this WordPress platform will not allow the four line stanza formatting used by the poet. The poet’s words have been transcribed exactly as written except one word which I was unable to make out and have marked by “????”. Where there is an apparent misspelling or wrong use of a word these have been noted by “sic”. Punctuation is also transcribed exactly as handwritten.
She
Sometimes I see her for you see
She’s the part of reality
Walking in twilight she’s so fair
With shinning eyes, the stars her hair
Sometimes I see her walking there
In starry tiered imaginings
Where dreams are born & if you care,
Go find the one with stars for hair.
For those who care, theres (sic) an easy way
One takes the road mid night & day
To places lying everywhere
That just exist for those who care
From there they go inside their soul
To see themselves & others whole
To find themselves & if they do
They may even find her too
For she’s as real as she can be
Yet not for every eye to see
Just how to meet one so acclaimed
Just find her first then ask her name
II
I met her, was it yesterday?
Between the mountains & the see (sic)
Traveling for to find a place
Where I could bad thoughts erase
The Timeless plane of many lands
A place that held no grasping hands
I came upon a city fair
And there she was beyond compare
I told her we could travel far
To lands beyond the farthest star
To places ever springtime fair
Where even I would have no cares
But she said, “No, why can’t you see?”
“That all there is lies here with me
“And seeker, through (sic) you have no fame
“You have to do but ask my name”
I looked at her then softly left
For then I knew she placed me free
In a quiet grove I softly wept
For starry eyed seekers who were like me
That woeful day I left that place
Last saw the sunshine on her face
But under the starry midnight sky
I often stop to wonder why
And then with smiling face I stare
And see the starlight of her hair.
Yet now I see her everyday
On every walk, in every way
But now she turns her face from me
Why? I know yet cannot say
For if I stopped then she would come
Thus giving all of what she is
Yet I cannot for I can see
I’ve gone too far to stop just yet
What do you say seeker, isn’t it sweet
to see the sun rise in the sky
to the right of where the shadows lie?
To close your mouth and blind your eyes?
Yes, try to climb that mountain where
You were born & had no cares
You’ll see the walls & hateful stares
of the ones above you left behind
You’ll dream about the sunlit skies
Your own little world you once held dear
Your place is lost, you’ve wondered why
And so you learn that which I fear
Your place in life I’ve never known
To step to mine you’ve never tried
And so I thread my path above
And, now and then, say this to you
Just find a place & sleep in the sun
And tell yourself you’re (sic) seeking’s done
She doesn’t exist for eye to see
Just a dream that never could be
So part of her is just called life
And part of that is sweet and fair
And that you find with much to spare
Yes, you can see it everywhere
Yet part of her cries all the time
It’s exploited, raped and bind (sic)
To racks where greed can find the time
To twist out life & leave just sins
And lastly she is partly love
A part of her most never known
The part of her that’s most abused
A part of her most vilely used
Look seeker see her raked (sic) with pain
Which (????) braid her starlit hair
to make a rope to hang us with
They hate us for they know she cares
And then she smiles and so is free
For she is all that can ever be
Now as then in Babylon
The spirit of eternity
And so existing around the bend
Kept out of sight from those obsessed
She’s there for those who seek her out
Who want the curse of happiness
For they must share her loveliness
And they must bear her loneliness
And for the sake of living yet
Must die a little to forget
Author unknown by blogger.
Crooked Creek makes no claims to ownership of this poem.
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Crooked Creek by Sue Mattingly 