We Will All Grieve
By adulthood, most people have experienced loss that triggers grief. If you have yet to lose a person or something that means the world to you, then you are probably very young and certainly very lucky.
Facing loss of another or one’s own approaching death will bring on an overabundance of feelings. Some of these feelings we discussed earlier from Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s book “On Death and Dying.”
These feelings are especially likely to fall on the anniversary of a loss. It might be the actual date but it might also occur on the day of the week or a day that is similar in weather or season. Unexpected grief can be triggered by sounds, smells or sights such as a bird, a flag or a similar face. In these cases, grief comes even on a good day.
Holidays
The holiday season which we are facing now can be particularly painful following a loss. While there is no single solution some ways that one can prepare or minister to self include the following:
- It is okay to say, “No” to invitations and to spend some time alone. Likewise, it is okay to join friends and family and to enjoy oneself even while grieving.
- Be honest with those who want to help you and let them know your needs.
- Get enough rest, exercise and a well-balanced diet. Physical wellbeing is necessary for emotional strength.
- Recognize that grief is not an obstacle but a necessary process. It is not an illness to be healed.
- Consult your spiritual mentor or a professional counselor.
- Prepare a way for your loved one to be memorialized such as a special candle or ornament in their honor.
- Take advantage of support groups such as those listed below. Often funeral homes offer such services, too.
Resources:
GreifShare (church related) https://www.griefshare.org
Soaring Spirits International (for widowers) https://www.soaringspirits.org
Compassionate Friends (after the loss of a child) https://www.compassionatefriends.org
Hospice https://hospicefoundation.org/End-of-Life-Support-and-Resources/Grief-Support/Support-Groups
Pet Loss – Humane Society or http://www.petloss.com
“The flowers bloom, then wither . . . the stars shine and one day become extinct. . This earth, the sun, the galaxies and even the big universe someday will be destroyed . . . Compared with that, the human life is only a blink, just a little time . . In that short time, the people are born, laugh, cry, fight, are injured, feel joy, sadness, hate someone, love someone. All in just a moment. And then, are embraced by the eternal sleep called death.” Virgo Shaka (Saint Seya)
Crooked Creek by Sue Mattingly 
This is beautifully written and much needed words for all of us. ❤️
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I agree. This is timely. I believe it may take one year to get over the pain of going through the death of a loved one. My sister died of cancer, and I needed time, but didn’t have it. I went on back to school, and I was very grieved with her death. I managed through that 2nd semester, realizing that I needed comfort. I went to see my sister, and I stayed for about 3 weeks in my visit. I stopped grieving one day, because as I played her piano, the Lord spoke to me. “Come out of the darkness, into my light.” I realized that my sister was no longer in pain, because cancer doesn’t go with you to heaven. I did come out of the grieving, and it did leave. We both cried, but when I stopped grieving, my family did. She was the first to go. My principal said, “You should have taken time off.” I didn’t.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your sister.
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From Albert Einstein:
“Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”
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Yes, Thank You.
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Good advice for us during this time. Peace and comfort be with you. B
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One can actually grieve for a person while they are still living. By the time my first husband passed, I had grieved his loss for six years. Still, when it finally came, I was still unprepared. The grief goes on I have found.
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Anticipatory grief is very real.
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